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This microbook is a summary/original review based on the book: Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time
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Do you seek success in business? The secret, for networking master Keith Ferrazzi, is to meet new people. He discovered, early in life, that what distinguishes successful people were the way they used the power of relationships. In Never Eat Alone, he tells the actions and mental models he uses to connect with thousands of friends, colleagues, and people he has helped and who have already helped him. His operation model is based on generosity. He seeks to help friends and make new friends. Also, he explains the difference between "networking" and creating lasting relationships. In this microbook, you'll learn Keith's strategies that will help you grow your contacts network. Read before you eat lunch!
As a boy, Keith Ferrazzi worked in a nearby town as a golf caddy in a country club. In his free time, he watched as the members of that club invested their time and money. They focused on helping each other and investing in each other's ideas by helping their children to get into the best universities and get the best jobs. Keith quickly realized that success generated more success, and that's why the rich got even richer. For him, poverty was not only lacking in financial conditions but rather staying isolated from the people who could help him become more successful. At that golf club, he learned about the importance of relationships. Today, everyone is looking to grow their network of contacts and meet new people to become more successful. But Keith takes a different approach to the concept of networking.
Real networking is about making the other a more successful person. Going to a conference and collecting dozens of business cards and saving them for use only when you need them is not true networking. We tend to keep business cards as a trophy, but a few days after the event, we no longer remember the face behind that card. After that, we go to social networks like LinkedIn to see if there is a photo there that helps us remember who that person really was. That is not enough anymore. For Keith, if you really want to grow your contacts and network, you need to help people become more successful, so they will care more about you and truly value that relationship. And the more valuable relationships you can build, the more valuable you become to yourself, your clients and your friends. To become a connector, you must not manage transactions but actual relationships.
One of the most important lessons of Never Eat Alone is Keith's rule of never keeping score, never counting the points when you are talking about networking. If you understand networking as a transaction of one thing in exchange for another, it will not be successful. If someone calls you and asks you a simple favor, which you really can help, just do it and do not count it as a point. Relationships are not finite resources, they are living beings, and if you want to connect with someone honestly, you must wish that person well. Never expect anything in exchange for some favor. Your joy should come from the ability to help someone. What is your mission? A vast network of contacts is useless if you have no goals and for Keith, a goal is a dream come true. To know what your goals are and create a plan, you need to follow 3 simple steps. First, answer: What do I really love doing? Then ask yourself: What would I like to do for the rest of my life? Write down the answers on paper, break them into smaller goals that you can gradually accomplish and begin to achieve. To be even more successful, create advice from people you admire in the area of your dreams by creating a connection with them. How to reach them? The rest of this microbook will help you!
If you want to be able to count on people in the future, you need to create your network of relationships before you need it and this is done through planning. Many wait until they need others to connect and that makes them fail, after all nobody wants to connect with someone who is constantly seeking help. Start your network as soon as possible, and when you need it, it will be working. To start your network, you can join local groups that interest you, take leadership positions on something voluntary, enroll in a class of interest. The more you expose yourself to people, the more chances you have of accomplishing your goals.
Most people are a little afraid or insecure about starting new relationships and getting close to others. But for Keith, it's all a matter of practice, and if you strive, you'll be able to develop this skill to mastery. To feel comfortable in social situations, they recommend that you study those who have more social skills than you. Observe how they act in social situations, their communication, posture and try to bring some of it to yourself. The next step is to learn to communicate better and develop your rhetoric. Talk more, analyze your conversations and learn from them. To start developing your network of contacts, you also need to build courage and get started, and the best way to learn is by practicing. Set up a strategy to meet at least one new person per week and keep practicing consistently. Also, it is important that you put your brain into a generosity mode. Ask yourself: How can I help this person? People tend to follow reciprocity, and if you help them, they will want to help you too.
Meeting others is not about how much time you invest in the relationship, but about how you invest your time with them. Your friendships, for example, are based on a lot of time invested that allowed you to find many points in common with them. Finding common ground is also the key to starting new relationships. An example of a good common ground in a relationship could be a shared activity or interest. Pay attention to what people say, listen actively and capture the commonalities. They can come from the sport, a good restaurant, a hobby, politics, in short, from every aspect of your life and the person's life. Another interesting point is to approach people in social events because in them we are much more relaxed, authentic and accessible. There is no better time to actually meet someone than on occasions when he is actually having fun. Of course, on such occasions, you should also be prepared to have a good chat. To do this, you need to follow a fundamental rule: the best way to keep a good conversation is not to talk about everything. But be considerate, honest and open with the other person. Instead of banal conversations, you should always share something interesting or establish an enlightening conversation. The other person will have good memories of you and admire you in every encounter you have.
Have you ever been to an event that had an annoying person, stuffing people and apparently only interested in networking? Yeah, do not be this guy! And for that, Keith brings us 6 powerful rules.
Do not hesitate, be direct: If you have something to speak, speak and speak with passion. Be sincere and truthful.
Do not gossip: Using gossip is an easy affair, but it will not generate value for you in the long run. You will be stuck with it, and eventually, you will run out of the news, losing your value and your confidence to people.
Do not go empty-handed: You have to be generous with your time and your ideas.
Never mistreat those below you: Treat everyone with respect, always.
Be transparent: Be true to yourself.
Do not focus on efficiency: Nothing is less sincere than an email sent to dozens of people. Make few meaningful connections individually.
By following the above rules and being available to connect people, give information and advice, you can rest assured that it will not become that guy of networking. Do your homework. If there is someone you want to meet, it's good to prepare. Your homework is to know what things that person likes, what they do and especially to identify common points that you have. Use Google and Linkedin to find out. Take notes and prepare for each scheduled meeting. Doing your homework, you have something to break the ice and make a good first impression.
Lunch is a great meal to connect with people, and if you're having lunch alone, you're missing out on a great chance to connect with someone. Join groups, invite diverse people and introduce people. The more you connect people, the easier it gets to make new connections.
One of the most important things about networking is to follow up after a meeting or meeting someone. Send an email or a written note thanking the person for a personal touch. A handwritten note shows that you care and really invested your time to do something personal.
Going to a conference? Do not sit around doing anything and just watching the lectures or think that a conference is like a vacation. Plan your goals first and make a list of the people you want to meet. Find out beforehand who will be present, even if you have to call the organizers asking. Do not forget your list and make notes of each new contact. Also, at a conference, it's a good idea not to focus on the speaker. There are many other people there spending their time harassing the speaker and waiting in line can be a waste of time. If you really want to talk to him, do it before the lecture, because afterward, all will want to talk to him. Another tip is to meet the conference organizers and bigwigs and stick with them. All the important people of an event gravitate around them, and this can generate good connections for you. When you come back from the conference, write on paper summarizing for yourself what you did and what you learned. If you do not, you'll forget everything later.
If you want to take your network to a new level, you need to connect to people who already have thousands of contacts. They are the connectors. While it is possible for connectors to operate in a variety of areas, they tend to appear more frequently in certain areas, and the main ones are:
Journalism and public relations;
Owners of bars and restaurants.
These professions seem to be tailor-made for connectors because they allow these people to connect with a large and diverse volume of people. If you want to increase your personal network, you should approach and meet someone from these professions.
Understand that 3 specific subjects, children, health, and wealth are the key to connecting with people's hearts. If someone needs help getting a job, putting the kids in a better school or for a medical treatment that you could help, simply help. If you can connect and help someone in any of these 3 areas, you will be able to create a long and lasting relationship, and the gratitude of the people is enormous.
People do not want to connect with jerks or people they consider annoying. But you do not need to be annoying while making a constant effort to become interesting. For this, be informed about the news, have interesting points of view on matters of public interest. Also, asking seemingly silly questions demonstrates your willingness to learn and interest in people. Knowing how to ask questions is an art that you must master. If you ask the right questions, people engage, they begin to talk freely, and instantly you become more interesting. In addition to becoming interesting, it is important that you build a personal brand. Find out what value you generate for people. Ask yourself:
What do people think when they hear my name?
What makes me different or special?
What are my strengths and weaknesses?
Which of my achievements am I proudest of?
Having answered these questions, you must be ready to create your personal brand. Once you have the brand, it's time to think about packaging it. The packaging of your brand is the way you present yourself. You need to think seriously about your clothes, talk style, hairstyle, business cards, letterhead and your office. All this communicates to the world the message of your brand. Understand this and cultivate your personal brand from there.
Once you have a brand, you need to be able to promote it! The best way to do this is to become your own PR agent. This means that you must accept the spotlight and always seek the positive attention of people. Take the initiative and accept being exposed when it comes to presenting things, speaking in public, etc. You also need to think about how to deal with the negative aspects of your brand. All you do not need is negative attention. You should not, for example, ask for a raise for your boss if you did not perform satisfactorily. This draws attention to you in a negative way.
Just as great artists have mentors with whom they have worked for years, so does the business world: young people can learn a lot from more experienced professionals. If you want to evolve and succeed in your career, you should be looking for mentors at all times. In addition to learning from them, they can also be a bridge to new contacts. To have a successful mentoring relationship, you need to be generous and vulnerable. Help your mentor and tell him your challenges honestly and transparently. Another important point is not only to ask for help but to provide timely feedback on your challenges. Keep in touch, always connecting with him to ensure that the relationship strengthens and consolidates. Another important point is to mentor people. Find people who want to be mentored and help them achieve their goals. The mentor/mentoree relationship is fantastic because it creates a space for you to ask for help, but also to help others all the time.
The first step to growing your network of contacts is to not only do networking by doing but to create long-term relationships with people. You need to altruistically help them and never keep score. Grow your network of contacts gradually and keep it alive, because you never know when you will need it. The important thing is that you are really well-intentioned in helping and this will eventually come back to you through fortuitous connections in your network.
Keith Ferrazzi is an author and speaker on subjects like business, networking, and sales. Keith Ferrazzi is the bestselling author of Who's Got Your Back and Never Eat Alone. Ferrazzi was published in The Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Inc. and Fast Company. He was the youngest person to partner and serve as Deloitte Consulting's Marketing Director, where he elevated Deloitte's brand recognition to a primary position, fueling the industry's highest growth rate. As founder and... (Read more)
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