Get Started Now
Book cover of The Relationship Cure by John Gottman — critical summary review on 12min

The Relationship Cure

John Gottman

14 mins
Sex & Relationships

Relationships are fueled by emotions, and emotions are messy by design; hence, most relationships are messy as well. In “The Relationship Cure,” John Gottman explores the underlying reasons. In addition to introducing the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid” – “the fundamental unit of emotional connection” – the book also offers a 5-step guide to building better connections with the people you love and care about.

Get Started

Listen to the intro

Who it is for

Best suited for couples with marital or relationship problems, as well as anyone who wants to connect better with a friend, a coworker, or a family member.

Key Insights

Understanding Emotional Bids

At the heart of 'The Relationship Cure' is the concept of emotional bids, which John Gottman identifies as the fundamental units of emotional connection between people. These bids can be as subtle as a smile or as direct as a request for attention. Understanding and effectively responding to these bids can strengthen relationships, as they are crucial signals of a person's need for connection. Recognizing these bids allows individuals to engage more empathetically with their partners, friends, and family, creating a more supportive and understanding environment.

The 5-Step Guide to Connection

Gottman provides a practical 5-step guide designed to help individuals build stronger connections with those they care about. These steps involve becoming aware of how you interact with others, recognizing the bids you and others make, and learning how to respond positively. By actively engaging with these steps, individuals can improve their communication skills, increase emotional intelligence, and foster healthier and more fulfilling relationships. This guide serves as a structured approach to nurturing emotional connections in a deliberate and mindful way.

The Impact of Emotional Intelligence

The book emphasizes the role of emotional intelligence in maintaining healthy relationships. Emotional intelligence involves being aware of your own emotions and understanding the emotions of others. Gottman highlights how this awareness can significantly improve how individuals respond to emotional bids, leading to stronger emotional bonds. By developing emotional intelligence, people can better navigate the complexities of emotions in relationships, reducing misunderstandings and conflict. This insight underscores the importance of self-awareness and empathy in cultivating lasting and meaningful connections.

Login

Login to your account

Enter your credentials to access your account

Don't have an account? Sign up

About the Author

Widely considered one of the most influential therapists of the modern age, John Gottman is an award-winning American psychological researcher with four decades of experience researching marital stability and divorce prediction. Professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, he has authored more than 200 academic papers and more than 40 books. He has also cofounded, with his wife, the Gottman Institute, a renowned relationship therapy center.

View author profile

Lessons

  • What bids are and why they are the key to interhuman connection.
  • What kind of emotional philosophy your family practiced.
  • How to sharpen your emotional communication skills.

Key Takeaways

  • Understand and recognize emotional 'bids': Pay attention to small gestures or comments that seek connection, as acknowledging these 'bids' strengthens emotional bonds.
  • Practice active listening: Engage fully in conversations by listening attentively and responding empathetically to build deeper connections.
  • Follow the 5-step guide for better relationships: Implement the structured approach provided in the book to enhance communication and emotional connection with loved ones.

More knowledge in less time

Listen to the key ideas

We offer various commission schemes from one-time payouts.

Find your next read

12Min is very popular among readers and lifelong learners.

Good Micropaths

12Min's browser-based app works for anyone.

Frequently asked

Frequently Asked Questions

Everything you need to know about 12min

In the 12min App, we extract the best ideas and insights from the world's best-selling non-fiction books and organize them into unique, self-contained narrative summaries that can be consumed in audio and/or text in about 12 minutes!

You can download our app and start enjoying our library. If for any reason you are not satisfied with our platform, simply contact our support team ([email protected]) within 7 days of purchase and request a refund. You will receive everything you paid for, without questions or bureaucracy.

Yes, but the change will only apply from the next billing period. For example, if you decide to change your monthly subscription to an annual one, after confirming the change to the annual plan, the new plan will only be applied and charged after that month's billing anniversary.

12min Premium is a plan that guarantees you access to our entire library of 2500+ titles available in 3 languages (English, Spanish, and Portuguese) that you can read or listen to at any time through our app available for iOS, Android, and Computer. You can also read or listen to your favorite titles offline and challenge yourself with a quiz to help you retain the content at the end of each microbook.

Yes, if you decide not to renew your 12min subscription, you can cancel at any time and the next billing cycle will not occur.

Feel free to contact us at [email protected].