Focus Month at 12min

70% off on 12min Gold

Get the offer
12min
Book cover of Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish — critical summary review on 12min

Siblings Without Rivalry

Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

9 mins

“Siblings Without Rivalry” is a book hovering over competitiveness – one of the hardships almost all parents have to contend with when raising children. Through a range of simple and yet effective techniques, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish pinpoint how parents can tackle frustrations among siblings and thus convert quarrels into sensible communications.

Listen to the intro

Who it is for

Best suited for couples - gearing up for parenthood, and actual parents struggling to contain sibling rivalry.

Key Insights

Understanding Individual Needs

One of the core insights from 'Siblings Without Rivalry' is the importance of recognizing and addressing the unique needs of each child. Faber and Mazlish emphasize that treating children equally does not always mean treating them the same. Each child has different emotional needs and personalities, and acknowledging these differences can prevent feelings of neglect or favoritism. By understanding and responding to each child's individual needs, parents can reduce rivalry and foster a more harmonious sibling relationship.

Encouraging Open Communication

The book highlights the significance of fostering open communication among siblings to resolve conflicts. Faber and Mazlish suggest that instead of stepping in to solve every dispute, parents should guide their children in expressing their feelings and listening to each other. This approach helps children learn negotiation and empathy skills, transforming potential quarrels into opportunities for constructive dialogue. Teaching siblings to communicate effectively reduces hostility and builds a foundation for healthier relationships.

Redirecting Competitive Impulses

'Siblings Without Rivalry' provides strategies for redirecting competitive impulses into cooperative behavior. Faber and Mazlish propose that instead of comparing siblings or highlighting their achievements against one another, parents should encourage teamwork and collective problem-solving. By setting shared goals and recognizing joint efforts, parents can shift the focus from competition to collaboration. This approach not only diminishes rivalry but also strengthens the bond between siblings as they learn to support and rely on each other.

Login

Login to your account

Enter your credentials to access your account

Don't have an account? Sign up

About the Author

Adele Faber is known for her expertise on facilitating communication between children and adults - and praised for her unique and effective strategies that are implemented worldwide by parents and professionals alike. Furthermore, she co-authored two bestselling books on parenting “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” and “Siblings Without Rivalry”. Her.

View author profile

Lessons

  • Express confidence in the children’s ability to find their own solution.
  • Instead of giving equal time, give time according to need.
  • Avoid unfavorable comparisons by describing the problem.

Key Takeaways

  • Encourage open communication: Teach children to express their feelings and listen to each other, promoting empathy and understanding instead of competition.
  • Acknowledge individuality: Recognize and appreciate each child's unique talents and interests to reduce rivalry and foster a supportive environment.
  • Guide conflict resolution: Equip siblings with tools to resolve their disputes amicably, turning potential conflicts into opportunities for cooperation and growth.

More knowledge in less time

Listen to the key ideas

We offer various commission schemes from one-time payouts.

Find your next read

12Min is very popular among readers and lifelong learners.

Good Micropaths

12Min's browser-based app works for anyone.

Frequently Asked Questions