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Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert

8 mins
Sex & Relationships

At the end of “Eat, Pray, Love”, author Elizabeth Gilbert had met and fallen in love with Felipe (José Nundes). Both survivors of horrible divorces, they agreed to never get married - and then U.S. Homeland Security intervened. Either they got married, or Felipe would not be allowed to enter the U.S. again. This started the two of them off on a months-long journey travelling around Asia, giving the author time to wonder what marriage is all about.

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Who it is for

Best suited for marriage skeptics, anyone intending to get married, fans of “Eat, Pray, Love,” anyone interested in the history of matrimony.

Key Insights

The Cultural Tapestry of Marriage

In 'Committed,' Elizabeth Gilbert embarks on a journey across Asia, exploring various cultural approaches to marriage. Through her interactions and observations, she uncovers the rich tapestry of traditions and beliefs surrounding this institution. Gilbert delves into how different societies perceive marriage, from the practical and economic arrangements to the romantic and spiritual unions. Her exploration reveals that marriage, despite its universal presence, is not a monolithic concept but a diverse array of practices and expectations shaped by cultural, historical, and personal influences. This insight challenges readers to consider how their own perceptions of marriage are influenced by cultural norms and personal experiences.

Redefining Commitment

The book 'Committed' provides an introspective look at what it means to commit in a relationship after experiencing the trauma of divorce. Gilbert and her partner, Felipe, initially agree to avoid marriage due to their past experiences. However, facing the ultimatum from U.S. Homeland Security forces them to reconsider their stance. Through this process, Gilbert reflects on the deeper meanings of commitment beyond the legal and social obligations of marriage. She explores how true commitment is rooted in mutual respect, understanding, and the willingness to grow together, rather than adhering to societal pressures or conventions. This redefinition suggests that commitment is a personal journey that goes beyond formalized rituals.

The Intersection of Love and Law

Elizabeth Gilbert's narrative in 'Committed' highlights the intricate intersection between love and legal systems. The couple's love story is abruptly challenged by immigration laws, which dictate the terms of their relationship. This predicament forces Gilbert to confront how legal frameworks can shape personal lives and relationships, often in unexpected and profound ways. The book illustrates how legal systems can enforce societal norms and expectations, influencing personal choices. Gilbert's experience underscores the tension between personal freedom and legal obligations, prompting readers to reflect on how laws can impact the most intimate aspects of human relationships.

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About the Author

Elizabeth Gilbert is the author of the international bestseller “Eat, Pray, Love.” She is also a journalist and has published articles in Harper’s Bazaar, The New York Times Magazine and Spin. She works for GQ. She is also the author of “Committed,” a personal memoir of her relationship with José Nunes, and “Big Magic,” a self-help book.

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Lessons

  • What ghost marriages are.
  • What the Buddha and matrimony have in common.
  • Who Schopenhauer’s porcupines were.

Key Takeaways

  • Marriage requires compromise and adaptability: Even with a personal vow to avoid marriage, external circumstances forced the author and her partner to reconsider their stance. This highlights the importance of being open to change and adapting commitments based on new situations.
  • Cultural and historical perspectives can reshape understanding: Through her travels and exploration of different cultures, the author gains diverse insights into the institution of marriage, suggesting that examining various cultural and historical contexts can provide a deeper understanding of personal relationships.
  • Self-reflection is crucial in relationships: The journey gave the author time to reflect on the concept of marriage, emphasizing the importance of introspection in understanding one's beliefs and expectations within a partnership.

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