Book cover of How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber & Julie King — critical summary review on 12min

How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen

Joanna Faber & Julie King

5.0 (2 ratings)
8 mins

Modeled after the international bestseller “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk,” “How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen” by Joanna Faber and Julie King tailors the original “How to Talk” techniques to parents of children aged between 2 and 7.

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Who it is for

Best suited for parents of children aged between 2 and 7 years – as well as teachers, educators and anyone else who might work with young kids.

Key Insights

Empathy as a Bridge

In 'How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen,' Faber and King emphasize the importance of empathy in communication with young children. Empathy acts as a bridge that connects parents to their children's world, allowing them to understand and validate feelings. The authors suggest that by acknowledging a child's emotions, even if they seem trivial, parents can foster a sense of security and trust. This approach helps children feel understood and can lead to more effective communication and cooperation. For instance, instead of dismissing a child's frustration over a broken toy, the book advises parents to acknowledge the disappointment, which can diffuse tension and open pathways to problem solving.

The Power of Playful Engagement

The book highlights playful engagement as a vital tool for connecting with little kids and encouraging cooperation. Faber and King argue that play is a child's natural language and incorporating it into everyday interactions can make tasks more enjoyable and less of a chore. For example, turning clean-up time into a treasure hunt or a race can transform a mundane task into an opportunity for fun and bonding. By tapping into their imaginative world, parents can motivate children to participate willingly in activities they might otherwise resist. This playful approach not only enhances the parent-child relationship but also nurtures creativity and joy in everyday routines.

Setting Limits with Respect

The authors of 'How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen' advocate for setting limits with respect rather than authority. They propose that clear and respectful boundaries help children understand expectations while feeling valued. The book suggests using language that communicates firmness without being harsh, such as explaining the reasons behind rules and involving children in the process of setting boundaries. By doing so, parents can encourage children to internalize these limits, fostering self-discipline and cooperation. For example, instead of saying 'You must go to bed now,' a parent might say, 'It's time for bed because your body needs rest to have energy for tomorrow's fun activities,' thus providing a rationale that respects the child's need for understanding.

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About the Author

Joanna Faber is the daughter of internationally acclaimed expert on communication between adults and children, Adele Faber. She has a master’s degree in special education and has taught bilingual students in West Harlem for a decade. A contributor to one of her mother’s best-known books, “How to Talk so Kids Can Learn,” she regularly conducts workshops based on Adele Faber’s work. Co-written with Julie King, “How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen” is her only book so far.

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Lessons

  • Why Dr. Seuss is right when he writes “a person’s a person – no matter how small!”.
  • Why helping children deal with difficult feelings is more important than getting them to do what you tell them to do.
  • How to replace punishments with more peaceful solutions.

Key Takeaways

  • Use age-appropriate communication techniques: Adapt your communication to suit the developmental stage of children aged 2 to 7, ensuring that your language and approach are clear and understandable for little kids.
  • Foster cooperation through empathy: Practice active listening and empathetic responses to better understand the emotions and perspectives of young children, which encourages them to cooperate and communicate more effectively.
  • Encourage problem-solving skills: Guide children in identifying and resolving their own issues by helping them articulate problems and brainstorm solutions, fostering independence and critical thinking from an early age.

More knowledge in less time

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