Don’t Leave Your 2021 Goals to Your Future Self
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This microbook is a summary/original review based on the book: The Psychology of Optimal Experience
Available for: Read online, read in our mobile apps for iPhone/Android and send in PDF/EPUB/MOBI to Amazon Kindle.
Publisher: Harper Perennial
Also available in audiobook
When do people feel most happy? The intent of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s seminal 1990 book “Flow” is “to use some of the tools of modern psychology to explore this very ancient question.” But don’t expect a straightforward answer, such as a catalog of happy experiences or lists of immediately applicable dos and don’ts; instead, expect a voyage through the realms of the mind and wide-ranging theory of what happiness actually is that might just alter the way you move through life.
So, get ready to examine the process of achieving happiness through control over your inner life and prepare for a reinterpretation of the nature of our optimal experiences.
Twenty-three centuries ago, Aristotle concluded that men and women seek happiness more than anything else and that happiness is the ultimate objective. After all, it is only happiness that we seek for its own sake: we value everything else – whether health, beauty, money, or power – only concerning if it can make us happy. In the opposite case, nothing makes sense: even if you are the richest individual in the world and loved by someone described as the most beautiful person by all relevant magazines, you’ll readily exchange these things for something else if they don’t make you happy.
Now, a lot of things have changed since Aristotle’s time: we live in a far more prosperous age than the ancient Greeks did, and we know so much more about the world than them. And yet, one can argue that we’ve made no progress whatsoever on this all-important subject of the nature of happiness: neither we understand what it is better than Aristotle, nor we know how to attain it better than his contemporaries.
Objectively, we should be far happier. As a whole, we are much healthier, and we live much longer than anyone has ever lived in the history of humanity. Moreover, the less fortunate among us are surrounded by luxuries undreamed of until just a few decades ago: chairs and bathrooms were rare even in the richest medieval houses, and Rockefeller himself wasn’t able to search Google for last-minute news or binge-watch a Netflix TV show.
The paradox? Most modern humans are much less happy than their ancestors, spending most of their time in boredom and anxiety and ending up with the feeling that they wasted their lives. Why? Are we destined to remain unfulfilled no matter what happens? Or are we simply searching for happiness in all the wrong places?
The good news is that happiness is attainable; the bad news is that it is not what most people think it is. Namely, it is not a phenomenon that exists inside or even outside some experiences: it is something we can add to all of them. Intentionally looking for good things is a dead end: the best we can do if we want to be happier is to prepare ourselves properly for all things that come in life.
“We cannot reach happiness by consciously searching for it,” writes Csikszentmihalyi. “It is not the result of good fortune or random chance. It is not something that money can buy or power commands. It does not depend on outside events, but, rather, on how we interpret them. Happiness is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person. People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy.”
Such a sentence might seem pessimistic at first, but it is actually the opposite. Contrary to what most self-help books will tell you, the majority of the forces that shape our lives are outside our control. We can choose neither our genes and physical appearance nor the family and the historical period into which we will be born. However, we can choose what we do with them.
And there are, indeed, those rare moments in life when, despite everything, we feel like we’re in control of our actions when we feel as if we are – as that memorable William Ernest Henley poem says – masters of our fates and captains of our souls. Csikszentmihalyi believes that this is the happiness we all strive for. It is these exhilarating moments that make life worth living because they startle us and overwhelm us with “a deep sense of enjoyment that is long cherished and that becomes a landmark in memory for what life should be like.” These are the optimal experiences.
An optimal experience is, in the simplest terms, “something that we make happen.” It is what sailors feel when they hold a tight course as the wind whips through their hair, it is what painters experience when immersed in their visions, they add a new layer of paint to the canvas. Time stops in these moments, and the person, the activity, and the environment all merge and fuse into something grander, something that exists outside the confines of our world. Of course, these two are just illustrations: for each person, there are thousands of opportunities to make something happen and hundreds of different levels of difficulty and effort depending on their age and skills.
But difficulty and effort are not optional: happiness seems to exist because of them, not despite them. The “passive, receptive, relaxing times” are not the best moments in our lives, these are only enjoyable when earned, and when you’ve worked hard to attain them. Just sitting in front of the TV when bored won’t make you happy since happiness is usually the product of struggle, the end-result of when “a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”
To enjoy a Netflix show in your bed tonight, you first need to meet your goals for the day, fulfill your obligations, take control of what’s thrown at you by the forces you can’t influence. This, of course, is not easy; it can even be painful. But, in the long run, “optimal experiences add up to a sense of mastery – or perhaps better, a sense of participation in determining the content of life – that comes as close to what is usually meant by happiness as anything else we can conceivably imagine.”
We rarely participate in determining the content of our lives. We don’t like our colleges, we don’t care for our jobs, and we listen to other people talk while browsing Instagram on our smartphones. It’s the way we do most of the things in life because we need to – not because we like to. Even more: it’s how we do them because they are springboards to something else.
We study to get a job and work to earn money; we save the money we earn to buy a house and a car or to pay for our wedding and our children’s education. But, happiness – as Aristotle so aptly observed – is a goal in itself and, thus, can never be brought about when you’re doing something to achieve something else. Happiness arises only when you transform your everyday events into autotelic experiences.
The term “autotelic” is Greek in origin and means “self-contained” (“auto” means “self,” and “telos” means “goal”). Self-contained activities are the ones you do not “with the expectation of some future benefit, but simply because the doing itself is the reward.” These are the optimal experiences: the future becomes irrelevant because you’re in control of the present and can lose yourself in the moment.
Csikszentmihalyi writes that autotelic experiences “lift the course of life to a different level. Alienation gives way to involvement, enjoyment replaces boredom, helplessness turns into a feeling of control, and psychic energy works to reinforce the sense of self, instead of being lost in the service of external goals. When experience is intrinsically rewarding, life is justified in the present, instead of being held hostage to a hypothetical future gain.”
This is the state of flow, more colloquially known as being “in the zone.” It is a state in which “people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.” And the experience is so enjoyable because, internally, it creates order in our constantly anxious consciousness. This, in turn, happens because, during autotelic experiences, our attention is invested in realistic goals, and because our skills match the opportunities for action.
In other words, we stop worrying about anything other than the task at hand: we somehow convince ourselves that, momentarily, we must forget everything to do this one thing properly. As a result, our brain blocks out everything that isn’t mean to this end, basically short-circuiting our genetically programmed desire for instant gratification and allowing our whole bodies to focus on something bigger and more rewarding.
In summary, it is not the experiences themselves that are objectively pleasurable – but we can turn them into such. So, to be happier, you don’t need to strive to set a successful startup or buy a yacht – you just need to do your best to develop a more autotelic self: that’s the only way you can transform potentially entropic occurrences into the flow. Fortunately, the rules for developing such a self are simple and can be summarized as follows:
Consciously avoiding “footnotes, references, and other tools scholars usually employ in their technical writing,” “Flow” is as direct and as user-friendly as possible. Yet, it is not a self-help book with insider tips on how to be happy.
It is something more: the first step on “a circuitous path” toward transforming your boring and meaningless life into one full of enjoyment. This should begin when you achieve control over the contents of our consciousness. And that begins with you reading this book.
Stretch yourself: reach toward higher challenges and attune your actions to these goals. That is not only the secret of happiness but the secret of growth and becoming “an increasingly extraordinary individual.”
Son of a career diplomat at the Hungarian Consulate in Fiume, Italy (now Rijeka, Croatia), award-winning Hungarian American psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi emigrated to the United States from Budapest at the age of 22. After receiving a doctorate from the University of Chicago, he became professor of p... (Read more)
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